poo-headed people

Most anyone who knows me, is privy to the fact I have worked years in retail. Technically, it has been over a decade; I just celebrated/commemorated eleven years with the same office supply company. Not supposed to name names, but if you don’t work for one, they are all the same to you, but whatever. Also, my new job involves customer service, which is something I rather enjoy on occasion. I have spent countless hours in training/coaching on how to handle customers, this post is meant to teach people how to be a customer.

The main thing that stands out in my mind in regards to some of the most horrible customers is a common phrase many of them have uttered over the years. “I know what it’s like to work retail, I have for such-and-such-many-years, you’re just ______” (I have only heard that one time in a positive way, when being railed on by a customer, a lady who was, I believe, truly intending constructive criticism, not revealing some portent to an impending complaint). For me and most people in service who hear that phrase, the question we have is “if you’ve done this job, how do you have the nerve to treat another human being the way you are right now?”

Seriously, people will yell at you, call you names, demand you get fired (in front of you), throw pens or printers at you, curse at you, (yeah, I said “throw printers at you”) over something they did, or because you wouldn’t break a law for them (printing, copyright stuff, so much fun). I can be persnickety, but I’m not mean to people. I’m not going to be a pretentious snob to a waitress, “just because I’ve had to endure horrible customers when I was a waiter, so now I can be a poo-head to everyone else.”

A big fact you’ll hear a lot when in any service industry: people are more likely to complain about a small grievance than they are to compliment good service. That means that on a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being “horrific-nearly-killed-the-customer” and 10 being “nirvana” (the metaphysical-state-of-being-thing, not the band), people expect nirvana. If they get 8, “best-service-that-is-actually-humanly-possible” they’ll be happy. Now give them 7, “I’m-doing-the-best-I-can-to-take-care-of-you” and they’ll tell your supervisor you were adequate. 5, “I-stopped-smiling-after-you-called-me-stupid-the-fifth-time-in-as-many-seconds” will get you a complaint, because it wasn’t nirvana.

Now, by no means am I saying customers shouldn’t be treated well. But customers need stop having the attitude that anything less-than-nirvana deserves a complaint. I don’t expect to change the world in this post, but I’ll be content changing you. Yes, you. Next time you are a customer, recognize the fact that the person in front of you is a human being. Don’t excuse rudeness or laziness, but be thankful for some service. If the person actually tried, have a thankful attitude. If you haven’t been there, imagine 6 to 8 hours of people being condescending to you just because you work retail even though they still don’t understand how taxes change the total.

In short, don’t be a poo-head, having dealt with them doesn’t give you the right to be one, it gives you the responsibility to end the cycle. And, if you ever get brave enough, you can even call out the next poo-head you see in line (or shall I say “out of line”) somewhere.