(follow me on this one)
I blame my parents for all of my problems. Seriously, it is their fault the way I am. I tend to be passive when it comes time to take initiative. I don’t always lead when I should and I don’t always follow the way I ought. I speak my mind when my mind is properly made up and I get quiet when there is something to be said. I’m short because my dad gave me coffee when I was too young. I have a propensity for high cholesterol and and insane metabolism that keeps me from gaining weight. To top it all off, I have to shave everyday because I am so very hairy.
When you look through that last paragraph, I’ll let you guess which problems I got from which parent. No matter how you cut the mustard though, they are both responsible for the problems I have in my character and life.
This coin has another side though. You see, while their problems have created my most difficult weaknesses to get past, the good parts of their character and personalities are some I my greatest strengths. My dad instilled in me a good work ethic, and a passion for creativity. He liked to write poetry and encouraged my sister and I to be creative. My mom is very musical, and while I may not be good at singing, I am musical in that I see patterns (music is a pattern, something interesting to study if you didn’t know that). She is also more expressive than my dad who is more laid back.
This odd admixture can explain a little of why I am the way I am. I am somewhat expressive... OK, I’m a lot expressive, but because I am my fathers son, I like those quiet moments of reflection. I can be kind of brooding (not many people see me brood, but I do). My dad bakes (really well, go to Idaho sometime and try some of his banana bread) but my mom doesn’t so much, but I can cook because I know how to follow a recipe (my dad) and be creative in imagining (my mom) what can be based on knowing the elements in play. I could write a dramatic scene (dad) and act it out (mom). Music (mom) and lyrics (dad).
So, you and I can spend all day blaming our parents for our shortcomings. (Which by the way are much easier to see in one or both parents when they are divorced/separated; couples over time learn how to mask each others failures, apart their faults a more obvious). Just be prepared to grow up and realize they are also responsible for our greatest strengths and passions. The pieces God used to make you play a part in His design for who he has you to be.
Hopefully my math makes a little more sense now: one (unique) parent + one (unique) parent = one (younique) you.
This was a very good post! I can relate a great deal to what you said. I see so very much of both of my parents in me. The older I get, the more I realize how very much my dad influenced and helped shape me into who I am today, even though I grew up living with my mom.
ReplyDeleteIt's very true that both our parents play a major part in shaping us, both for the good and the bad, like and dislikes, interests and hobbies, character traits, problem areas, etc. And God can definitely use that to help us in His plans for us. It's one of the neat things that He does - taking the good and bad and using both to shape us into who He wants us to be. (Not that He wants us to inherit the same sinful tendencies, but we can be aware of where they came from and be better able to fight against those temptations.)
I also agree that successful couples have a tendency to balance each other, to compliment the strengths and weaknesses so that they both appear stronger than they do separate. There is something about divorce that just seems to magnify the weaknesses of both parents. And this is true even if you have parents like mine who tried hard not to point out faults in each other to us kids, like so many divorced parents do.
And I think that your math makes sense... it's just younique like you are! =)
OH YA! Your dad is an awesome cook. I had some of his cookies and brownie/cookie/sweet-goodness square things and they were to die for. YUM!
ReplyDeleteSecond, I think you give your parents way too much power. Jason, our parents were not all that different from each others. I know that many of my parents traits and habits have become part of my everyday life, and of course I got them from some where.... but I am in control of who/how I am now. Example: Remember all of those crazy dresses I used to wear? My personal favorite was the orange tie-dyed one. Anyway, I understand that I wore those because I was looking for people to notice me. I wanted that attention because I felt like my dad didn't see me or what was going on in our house. I understand that now, and can wear my orange tie-dye (did I mention it was orange!) because I love it... I learned that I had to take responsibility, decide how I wanted to live, and take my parents power away - their behavior couldn't control mine. I don't know if I am saying it how I am thinking it, but it makes sense in my head! lol.